WOOHOO! i have so much fun today!

woke up at 6 am to help mum with something and left home at 8 am to Cairnhill CC to play bball with forum members. this is my first outing with them so i dunno anybody there?! haha but got online chat with some of them the past few days lah haha. so i shoot a little while then truthliar came. yeah so we shooot a little too. den slowly many people came haha.

i think these ballers are darn cool and fun people lah! there were alot! namely me, truthliar, ah lang, zhong, admin(esther), weijian(national men player!!*admire*), elson(pro!), samuel, nic(old but lameheee XD) and his two other friends, 8 Trigrams, admin 2 other frens, fion and her 1 girl de fren and 3 or 4 guy de fren and maybe got some i dunno name haha. total about 20 people den its like damn fun!

the bball court was like damn packed den fully booked lah! so we form teams and went to play match with the people on court(we dunno) so as to chase them out. was posted with one team but as a noob basketball lover, of cos i was of not much use to the team! my D was not good and i dun really dare to attack. when people pass me the ball i pass back -.o haha. and i nearly sprain my leg cos i accidentally step on truthliar feet! haha it was intense pain lah! haha. anyway ok so i mus train more haha! the people are really pros lah! so after 3 games our team lost so we went to rest haha. and there was this dao-looking guy sitting among us so admin gan gan ask 'ni shi shui?' 'ni shi forum de mah?' haha. we were laughing hard lah she's playing the taiwan game who r you. but the guy aint forum de haha. den after which admin ask weijian to guide me and i was in his team. so as noob basketballer lover i was not of much help but weijian kept passing the ball to me. haha thanks ah for trying to help me! but my shootings were way tooo swayed lah! den i dun dare to dribble keep passing back. was feeling kinda guilty for i sort of 'lian lei' the team. so haha den lost and went to rest.

den elson, weijian and 2 other guys team up to play with the 4 guys which we dunno. we intend to chase them out of the court by trying to win them. they are quite pro ok. but haha end up weijian team lost! and weijian and elson was like 'wah liao like that can also lose' haha. but i still love the way weijian attack! and it seems angry! but nic says its his way of acting cool haha. and nic was really lame! especially with truthliar! haha. oh he's quite old too lah 27 year old in credit card de occupation. haha den wildfire came and we chatted quite alot. about her printing studio and asking me to work for her. she also shared with me about her own team training haha. she asked me to come join her team no matter skills cos hers is like CC club den the people oso not that very pro somemore they going to train at a court very near my place! i seems kinda interested hahaha. den weijian was telling fion and gang about army ghost story on the very 1st day when he entered army. anyway he just entered army. like thrilling lah haha. and elson and him were saying about those sissys and aquas actions in army. wah liao they act until very gay lah! haha but very funny lah! and weijian is really really very lame and crappy lah! haha.

den toook some group photos but i scared lah stand quite far from them haha. and elson and weijian were gaying please! cos elson wan to take a 'neh neh' photo by squeezing his 'neh neh'. den weijian automatically come and help squeeze elson's neh neh and ask admin to take photo. like everybody was laughing hard lah! haha. anyway the bballers who came are really pro. felt so noooob man! they all ahve got bball background like sch team or wai dui(clubs) haha. of course among the rest i admire weijian and elson skills haha. but weijian is like reasonable lah cos nat team de eh. elson is whye nam but pro ehh. so actually manage to crap a little during the whole session! it was damn fun!

so it was gonna rain and we pack up to go to newton hawker centre to have lunch(or breakfast according to admin haha!) while fion and gang continue to ball there haha. ate char siew rice and yeah haha weijian they all ordered like 12 bucks lala (seafood) and a 12 bucks dunno what hahaha. ltr nic came and ask me and truthliar to go to their table and sit cos one of his fren want to know me -.-. so end up we went there due to boredom haha. crapped alot with weijian. we were saying how old is he and truthliar insisted he is 48 but he himself insisted he is 18! haha but he actually 27! we asked some of his bball background lo. he did not play in sec sch cos they want those well-build one and so he say he 'dai lu mao' for like 5 years which is ncc haha. and we were discussing about his job like he run roadshows and stuff. and we were oso discussing about some bballers lo like michael wong which is my favourite! haha and streetball gala 07. he wants to join the wheelchair category cos truthliar is gonna break his leg! haha funny. and we were saying about the national team. like weilong! pro man admire lah haha idol leh haha. so he say that actually weilong dun do stunts but his fitness and basics are very goood. he ask me not to focus on skills 1st but on fitness! like running train stamina and stuff. and basics. i was saying about my no-chance to pursue basketball. so he like say play basketball is because you love the game! haha. but he kept saying he ball for fun cos too old le. chat quite alot den very fun. 8 Trigrams left first haha. den bout 1.30 esther drove me home since she oso need to pass something to her fren who lives in the same block as me haha. nic sent his 2 fren and ah lang and zhong home since they stay in the north hahah. and ltr when reach ghim moh, her fren (guy) came down and i know this guy but never tok to him before!haha funny lah total coincidence. ltr found out she was my mum's fren daughter's fren. the guy is the my mum's fren son hahaha. haha who often come down to ghim moh! hahaha. den ltr she gonna drop truthliar at je mrt lo haha.

the most fun basketball-ing i have ever attended! thanks everybody of the forum for making me feel so comfortable! hahaha! next outing is streetball gala 07 right? see you all there! haha.

Family

sometimes.
when i listen or see kids of my age going out with their parents.
enjoying those precious moments together.
having fun and sharing things together.

is kinda jealous, i guess.
at least to me.

cos i dont get to enjoy this much.
i dont really have family outing.
not all 5.
though i got go out with my mum and sister.
its jus all spilt.
everday, i talked to my dad for a few sentences.
and the day past.
never did we settle down and really chat and share things together.
today i just called my cousin but they were not in.
they came back and told me they were out in the pasar malam.
one whole family.
and it just sounds so sweet.
but the next moment i was asking myself.
why dont i get to enjoy this?
to count, for 1 year, i dont get at least 5 outings or around this number.
with all my family members together.
plus the thought of oth________ i dunno what feeling.
we never went overseas together as a family.
i only went overseas with my relatives and sister.
and at there, i still feel __________
cos there is my 5th aunt and family and my cousin and his husband.
you see, one family again.
and i always wonder how are my parents back in singapore.
i feel sad too.
for that they have to work so hard for life.
they never enjoyed life.
the spent much of their adulthood life working.
tell me, whats the point?
you work, you earn, you do not get to enjoy.
plus for some unfortunate cases.
they got disease, they got sick, and their life end.
thats ur life.
but dont you feel a sense of guiltyness?
not able to accompany your children.
not able to give them the happiness of enjoying together as a family.
you hold the responsibility once you have children.
you ought to do ur duty.
to be parents who are able to handle both work and family.
to give ur children happiness in terms of going out together.
chatting and sharing things together.
well, thats all about my family.
you all may think, i dont cherish all i have.
but to say, some of you all did enjoy all these.
so you are not standing in my position and so you dont understand what all this feeling is about.

boredom was like a bee surrounding me these days lah fuck.

bintan trip was nothing.
but a BORE.
i did wrong, i feel remorseful, so i have totally NO MOOD to go there.
i din tok much, din eat much, din do much, din face desmond.
thats kinda wilful, i know.
but i just daren't face, not that i dont feel sorry.
i dunno how to say a sorry.
i aint so brave, you know.
speak to me 1st please.
then i find the right time to say sorry.
im really sorry, that im like that.
but just, i dont have enuff courage.
im sorry.

so people says im really naughty.
wilful, stubborn, dunno how to think.
they always say im the wrong one.
everytime.
maybe thats what they think.
and so they tried to correct me.
wash my mind and stuffs.
i know what i do are wrong, even b4 i carry them out.
i KNOW what are rights and wrongs.
this is what my heart always think to be.
but my mind, my body, doesnt listen to my heart.
i do things that are against my wish.
i know they are wrong, but apparently i still go ahead and do them.
end up, i had to bear all the consequences.
i know, im a rascal.
A RASCAL.

im sucha a loser loser loser.